Fueled by so much thought, so much emotion, constantly and consistently. I am tied to ideals for myself that I internally beat myself up for if not reached. Sometimes it feels like training for the future, but sometimes it feels like self-destruction. Really trying to build myself carefully each and every day into this eloquent being I imagine, that can sustain herself, provide for others, finally be that individual that is admired in my head.
Unsolicited advice is usually the kind that I need the most. It’s because I stubbornly don’t ask for help or for guidance. I’m not begging for answers, but for clarity. But even feeling that I “need” anything is an aspect of life necessary for me to accept. I need to start accepting that true independence is gaining perspective and aid from others. Relying on others’ wisdom or guidance is not weakness.
I’m human. Dammit.
